海外看點 | 7 Tips From a Lazy Psychologist Mom 一位懶惰的心理學家媽媽的7條小技巧(1)

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7 Tips From a Lazy Psychologist Mom That Parents Around the World Are Thankful For

一位懶惰的心理學家媽媽提出的7條小技巧,全世界父母都感激

Anna Bykova is a lazy mom。 And she isn’t ashamed to admit that。 Moreover, the psychologist and the author of several best-selling books is even proud of this “title” as she believes that it gives her children an opportunity to become more independent。 However, by laziness, Anna doesn’t mean lying on the sofa all day long, but a desire to not do everything herself。 For example, sometimes it’s better to be “lazy” and let a 7-year-old do the dishes to improve their fine motor skills。 And it’s fine that you’ll have to wipe the floor dry after this and wash the dishes again when the child isn’t looking。

We support this unusual parenting technique that’s basically the opposite of being overprotective。 And, with the author’s permission, we’d like to share with you some tips that can make the lives of many parents way easier。

1. Train your child to use the potty

海外看點 | 7 Tips From a Lazy Psychologist Mom 一位懶惰的心理學家媽媽的7條小技巧(1)

How? It’s a step-by-step process that requires patience。

• The potty should always be in the same place where a child can easily see it。 Never force the child to sit on a potty。

• In the beginning of the training, don’t forget to praise your child every time they sit on the potty。 The result is irrelevant at this point: it doesn’t matter if they actually left something in the potty or if the child did you a favor and just sat on this weird object with their pants off。

• You can also try to put a teddy bear on the potty and tell fairy tales about how characters enjoy wearing dry pants。 And that’s it! The rest is just a matter of time。

From the book An Independent Child or How to Become “A Lazy” Mother by Anna Bykova。

2. Prevent your child’s temper tantrums

海外看點 | 7 Tips From a Lazy Psychologist Mom 一位懶惰的心理學家媽媽的7條小技巧(1)

• Hide all the things they can’t touch from the child。

• Show the child a new bright object or promise to do something else even more exciting。 I always carry a bottle of bubbles with me, a balloon that I can blow up in the case of an emergency, or small and cheap toys。

• Scissors are a dangerous toy for a kid and if they really want to touch them, it’s fine to let them do it — but only if mom controls the process。 Having too many taboos irritates the child and limits their development。

• Try the approach, “Of course, we’ll do it but we’ll have to wait until later。” or “Yes, but。。。” It works like this: “Of course, we’ll play, but let’s get some sleep first。”

• If you need to stop a game to feed your child, suggest feeding a toy first。 For example, if you want to make your young “builder” stop building and have lunch, don’t say “Leave your building set and let’s go eat。” Just announce that the construction team is having a lunch break。

• Suggest an alternative and the child will behave the way you want。 For example, you could ask: “Will you pick up your toy soldiers or cars first?” Unfortunately, this technique doesn’t work for long。 After a certain age, the child can and probably will refuse to perform both actions。

參考譯文

安娜·貝科娃是一位懶惰的媽媽。對此她並不羞於承認。而且,這位心理學家,幾本暢銷書的作者,甚至為這個“稱號”而自豪,因為她相信,這給她的孩子一個變得更加獨立的機會。然而,安娜懶惰並不意味著整天躺在沙發上,而是一種不包辦一切的願望。例如,自己懶惰,讓一個7歲的孩子收拾碗碟來提高其精細動作技能有時會更好。之後再擦地板,等孩子看不見的時候再洗碟子就好了。

我們支援這種不尋常的育兒技術,這基本同過度保護相反。經過多次許可,我們願意同你分享一些小技巧,這會使許多父母的生活容易許多。

1.訓練你的孩子使用便盆

如何做?這是一個循序漸進的過程,需要耐心。

便盆應該總是放在孩子能夠很容易看到的同一個地方。千萬不要逼孩子坐便盆。

在訓練的開始,每次你的孩子坐便盆,不要忘記表揚他們。在這一點上,結果是無關緊要的:他們在便盆中實際上什麼也沒有留下,或者孩子給你面子,只是脫掉褲子坐在這個奇怪的東西上,這都不要緊。

你還可以設法在便盆上放上一個泰迪小熊,並且講述主人公如何喜歡穿幹褲子的童話故事。就是這樣!其他只是時間問題了。

摘自安娜·貝科娃的著作《獨立的孩子,或者如何成為一位“懶惰的”媽媽》

2。防止孩子發脾氣

*把孩子不能碰的東西都藏起來,不讓他們見到。

*拿給孩子一個鮮豔的東西或者答應做其他更令人興奮的事情。我總是隨身帶著一瓶泡泡水、可以在緊急情況下吹起來的氣球,或者便宜的小玩具。

*對孩子來說,剪刀是危險的玩具,如果他們真的想碰,允許他們碰也不錯——只是這個過程要有媽媽控制才好。有太多的禁忌會惹怒孩子,限制他們的發展。

*嘗試“當然我們要做,但是我們要等一下。”或者“是的,不過……”這種辦法。做法是這樣的:“當然我們要玩,但是咱們先睡會覺吧。”

*如果你需要停止遊戲餵你的孩子,建議先喂一個玩具。例如,如果你想讓你的小“建築師”停止建築,去吃午飯,不要說“離開你的房子,咱們吃飯。”只是宣佈說,建築隊要吃午飯了。

*提出一項選擇,你的孩子就會按照你希望的辦法去做。例如,你可以問:“你願意把你的玩具士兵還是汽車先撿起來呢?”不幸的是,這個技巧不會長期起作用。過了某個年齡以後,孩子們就會,並且很可能兩個動作都拒絕執行。

海外看點 | 7 Tips From a Lazy Psychologist Mom 一位懶惰的心理學家媽媽的7條小技巧(1)