翻譯稽核日誌 | 元氣滿滿的英語省略現象

譯審精選 「第8期」

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頻道:

化學反應·reactions

影片:

what happens if you stop washing your hair?

時段:

「01:46 —— 01:53」

影片載入中。。。

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原文:

Conditioners have some of the ingredients that actually clean your hair, but not as many as shampoos, so they won’t dry our hair out as much。

譯者翻譯:

護髮素有些成分實際上能清洗頭髮 但不像很多洗髮水一樣 護髮素不會把我們的頭髮弄得那麼幹燥

山人乙譯審意見:翻譯有誤

1.語法結構詳解:

Conditioners have some of the ingredients

\that actually clean your hair, but

\not as many as shampoos, so they won’t dry our hair out

\as much。

the ingredient的後置定語,是限制性定語從句that actually clean your hair。

have some…your hair的平行結構,是並列連詞but連線的結構not as many as shampoos。

{注-1}not as many as shampoos是省略結構,完整形式是:but (

do

) not (

have

) as many(

ingredients that actually clean your hair

) as shampoos (

have

)。

{注-2}這裡but (

do

) not (

have

as

many (

ingredients that actually clean your hair

as

shampoos (

have

)。第一個as是副詞,第二個as是關係代詞(引導限制性定語從句)。

dry out的狀語,是副詞短語as much。

{注-1}as much是省略結構,即,so they won’t dry our hair out as much是省略結構,完整形式是:so they won’t dry our hair out as much (

as shampoos dry our hair out

{注-2}這裡so they won’t dry our hair out

as

much (

as

shampoos dry our hair out

)。第一個as是副詞,第二個as是連詞(引導比較狀語從句)

(注:其餘翻譯錯誤和漏譯,不再逐一列舉)

小夥伴們覺得這句話該怎麼翻譯呢?

山人乙的試譯:

護髮素雖然含有一些能清潔頭髮的成分,但是,沒有洗髮露中含有的多,因此,不會像洗髮露那樣讓頭髮乾燥。

感謝本期翻譯稽核員:

山人乙

譯學館

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